- I was thinking today about how we take for granted little things, like having clean water.  I remembered a list of stats from a curriculum on social justice and here are some facts:

According to a 2005 United Nations report, obtaining access to clean water and basic sanitation for the world’s poor would cost $7 billion a year over the next decade.
About $8 billion a year is spent in the United States on elective cosmetic surgery.
About $7 billion annually is spent on perfume in Europe.
The amount that the world’s richest countries spend in a year on HIV/AIDS, a human security threat that claims three million lives a year, represents three days’ spending on military hardware.
Just $4 billion is needed to finance basic health interventions that could prevent the deaths of three million infants a year.
Every year, $17 billion is spent on pet food in the United States and Europe.

Something to think about.

We used to run into each other in the parking lot a lot.  No one really knew how much time he gave to the church, and how much he did the things that no one else wanted to do.  Seriously, I don’t know how he did it.  So we’d talk for a little bit about the headache-of-an-issue he was dealing with that day, and he would give me some good-natured fatherly advice on what to do if I ever ran a church one day.  I always listened because he said it with such gentleness and a kind of respect that I probably hadn’t earned yet.  And usually he was right on the money.  I’d usually say something about how I could never be able to lead a church.  And he’d look at me and say in a confident voice and with a smile, “Yes, you can.  Maybe not now, but someday you will.”

I didn’t get to know Wayne Perrin as well as I would have wanted.  But the man that I knew took care of the people around him.  You knew it.  You could count on it.  He gave you that vibe the moment you met him.  I can’t recall ever having a conversation with him about Scripture or theology, but Mr. P taught me a whole lot about being a Christian leader because he taught me about character.  Treat people well and know who you are and who you’re not.  You’re not saved by good works, but try to be a good man.

Faith in Jesus means we get to grieve and rejoice at moments like this.  I’m incredibly sad you’re gone, Mr. P.  But I know you’re enjoying the eternal peace and joy of heaven.  We’ll miss you, Mr. P.  Thanks for being there for all of us.

“Shall tribulation . . . ?” Tribulation is never a grand, highly welcomed event; but whatever it may be— whether exhausting, irritating, or simply causing some weakness— it is not able to “separate us from the love of Christ.” Never allow tribulations or the “cares of this world” to separate you from remembering that God loves you.

“Shall . . . distress . . . ?” Can God’s love continue to hold fast, even when everyone and everything around us seems to be saying that His love is a lie, and that there is no such thing as justice?

“Shall . . . famine . . . ?” Can we not only believe in the love of God but also be “more than conquerors,” even while we are being starved?

Either Jesus Christ is a deceiver, having deceived even Paul, or else some extraordinary thing happens to someone who holds on to the love of God when the odds are totally against him. Logic is silenced in the face of each of these things which come against him. Only one thing can account for it— the love of God in Christ Jesus. “Out of the wreck I rise” every time.

I’ve been reading My Utmost For His Highest since I was in college.  It’s a devotional I’ve always gone back to, and though I don’t always agree with Oswald Chambers’ take, I am always challenged and encouraged to set my eyes on God alone and live this life in radical obedience.  It’s funny how we can so easily ignore those things that are meant to help us and turn our attention to Jesus.  I’ve had the online version (http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php) as my start page for some time now, but usually I click ahead to facebook or ESPN or something seemingly more urgent in the moment.  But the whole point of using this as my start page was to avoid that and slow down to seek God first.  So today’s devotional gripped me – nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.  In all these things we are more than conquerors because we rely not on our own strength or personality, but on the love God has for us.

1994 Toyota Camry SE, black, 2-door (1996-2004):
My first car and my first love.  I got it right before my senior year of high school and drove it to my senior prom, high school graduation, college graduation, first day of seminary, and so many high and low moments of my young life.  It was used and had almost 50k miles on it, but it ran great for so many years.  It had a cassette player and a CD player, and yes, I still remember playing the slow jams mix tapes in the car that made you think of that certain someone – Boyz II Men, Brian Mcknight, Shai, Mariah, and more.  Those slow jams mix tapes and rap CDs eventually turned to Steven Curtis Chapman, Kirk Franklin, and praise and worship.  The Camry took me everywhere I needed to go – music playing, sunroof open, and good friends in the car.  Good times.

2005 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner Sport, white, 4-door (2005-2008):
I think I enjoyed everyday that I drove my truck.  It was my first new car, straight from the dealership.  I’ll admit it, I felt a little bit too cool for school driving it, but overall it was a super comfortable ride with great advantages for going to the beach or a retreat.  The day I decided to sell it I was very sad.  The day that I sold it I was very happy because I got a good price, but also still sad.  It’s out there now, hopefully making that guy happy.  He better be taking care of it.

2006 Toyota Corolla LE, silver, 4-door (last week – present):
My newest ride was safe and risky at the same time.  Safe because it’s a great performing car with good mileage and low maintenance cost.  Risky because I bought it off Craigslist.  Overall, I think I got a decent deal.  But there’s always a fear that something will go wrong when you buy your car that way.  Aside from some minor issues, I’m happy with my latest traveling companion.  It’s not as cool as the Tacoma or as sentimental as the Camry, but I think the Corolla will last me a while and get me around the mean streets of NYC.  She has a few bumps and scratches and will probably get a few more.  But it’s in good shape, and I feel blessed to have a car to get around in.  I know it’s really a gift from God.

I’ve been trying to upload a picture, but wordpress is not cooperating.  So just imagine a simple silver corolla.  Nothing too flashy.  Nothing too special.  But she’s mine.  So what should I call her?

What with all the changes to the look of my blog, I was considering changing my blog title today but decided to stick with it.  At first, it was just a catchy title that reflected my love for football.  The more I think about it though, it fits.  There’s always something new happening, a fresh set of downs with new challenges and possibilities ahead.  There is a goal in sight, but we are constantly starting over to get there.  So here I am again, in a lot of ways at first and ten.  Deep, right?  Football players are really philosophers with pads on.

So I just started a new position as Youth and College-Age Director at New Life Fellowship Church.  It’s amazing how God works.  I was seriously getting ready to say my good-byes and leave NY, probably headed for somewhere in CA where the tacos and fruit smoothies are in abundance.  I had no idea where I was headed or what I wanted to do.  People asked if I wanted to stay in NY, but I would always say that I wouldn’t want to be at any church besides New Life Fellowship.  I didn’t see it coming at all, but here I am.  And though the circumstances are challenging and the road ahead has a lot of work to do, I’m so grateful to be here.  I see God working in this community of believers.  In the wise words of a brother I was praying with this afternoon, we show all our cracks so that the true Light can shine through even more.  I see that happening here.

And what else…I moved into a new place with a couple brothers I got connected with.  I’m living about 10 min walk to church, and especially with the nice weather, I enjoy taking the walk to church to go to work.  Usually, I’m carrying my travel mug with some french-press coffee in it (thanks to Jae for being my coffee yoda) and listening to something new on the iPod.  Today: Jai Ho.  Makes you want to dance every single time.

There’s so much to appreciate about New York, which I’m learning more and more now that I’m really settling in.  Dude, CitiField is so nice.  The stadium is very well built and the food is amazing.  Shake Shack and Blue Smoke – incredible.  I’m trying to get over to the new Yankee Stadium as well.  But rest assured, my heart is still at Dodger Stadium with the Dodger Dog, nachos, and chocolate malt cup with the wooden spoon.  Can’t beat it.

So there’s much more ahead.  Excited.  Nervous.  Prayerful.

Jai Ho!

1.    Identify with the life of Jesus
2.    Transform the secular realm
3.    Live highly communal lives
4.    Welcome the stranger
5.    Serve with generosity
6.    Participate as producers
7.    Create as created beings
8.    Lead as a body
9.    Merge ancient and modern spiritual practices

The definition they give of emerging churches are “missional communities arising from within postmodern culture and consisting of followers of Jesus who are seeking to be faithful in their place and time.”  The attitude and mindset is that the contemporary and Gen X churches have followed models of church that are informed more by modernity and North American consumer culture than by the message of scripture which is seen through the lens of the teachings of Jesus, primarily the Sermon on the Mount.  So by nature, emerging churches are deconstructing what is present in order to create communities that are centered on principles of the kingdom of God and the person of Jesus Christ.

So why should any of us who are not in one of these communities or identify with this movement care about this?  I think it’s because many of us would agree that the church should be doing many of these things and, in fact, does strive to do them.  The question is do we do them well.  And do we need to adopt a certain culture of what’s hot and cool to do them.  The emerging church as I see it is just as trendy and cool-chasing as the contemporary church.  There was an article in Christianity Today several years back taking aim at this.  I think it was titled the “Emergent Mystique” and the premise was how cool those labeled as emerging seemed to be.  What I think is that there have been a lot of caricatures (whether true or exaggerated) of the emerging church and what it is and what it stands for.  So you might think of young white guys with beards and no shoes hitting bongos with candles lit and beers and coffee flowing freely with a discussion on the biblical truths we can glean from the latest Kevin Smith film.  That obviously is a very exaggerated caricature.  But that’s what I’ve been told is what the emerging church looks like.

If we take these 9 principles in the way Gibbs and Bolger present them, it’s compelling.  It is at least a picture of what is valued in a postmodern culture.  One of the areas that I probably have the most issues is in the area of presenting biblical truth.  So they write, “Emerging churches remove linear expressions of faith.  Postmodernity teaches that linearity is but one of many narratives that could be told about a given event.  In fact, postmoderns prefer that more than on narrative be told, recognizing that one systematic telling is selective and open to distortion.  It is not that postmodern people do not want truth per se, but whose truth?  Often the one proposing, or most often imposing ‘truth,’ in their view, is a person in power.  Why trust that person?”  Again, a snap reaction might be to say that emerging churches are relativists and liberals, and sometimes you might be right.  But maybe we can see in this that truth may not be the underlying problem but instead it’s trust in the person who is sharing the truth.  The question may not be in postmodern culture “Do I believe it?”, it might well be “Do I trust you?”

I’ve had some discussions with people asking if New Life Fellowship is an emerging church.  I guess I’ll leave that out there for people to weigh in.  There are some definite similarities to what God has been doing at New Life and the observations by Gibbs and Bolger, but I would hesitate to categorize New Life as such.  Actually, I probably wouldn’t because of all the baggage associated with it.  But I think there is something signficant for us to learn from the thoughts and conversations going on about this emerging movement, if nothing else but for the fact it gives us the opportunity to listen to brothers and sisters in love, gentleness, and mutual respect.

So when I got the chance to sit down with someone who I value for her wisdom and depth in faith, my only thought was, “Help me figure out what I’ll be doing six months from now.”  What am I supposed to be learning?  How can I best utilize these experiences and lessons for some greater good in the future – the ministry and the life that God has planned for me?  I figured it wasn’t a bad question.  In fact, it felt like a kingdom-minded question.

But then these questions were asked of me, “What does Jesus say about this?” and “What do you see the Father doing?”  And suddenly everything turned on its ear.  The responsible, practical, forward-thinking image I had of myself came face-to-face with Jesus’ words:

“For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body, as to what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life’s span?  And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.  But if God so arrays the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more do so for you, O men of little faith?  Do not be anxious then, saying,  ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘With what shall we clothe ourselves?’  For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“

I was always taught to believe that the value of today was to get ready for tomorrow.  Learning, saving, practicing, working, serving, growing, etc. were all important because they made the possibility of tomorrow all that much better.  None of those are bad in and of themselves, but slowly they fed into that part of me that feels that my identity is in what I do and what I accomplish.  And the result was a need to grasp an strive for something great tomorrow because today was never good enough.

And yet Jesus calls me to something much different.  First, he says that my identity and worth is not in what I accomplish and attain.  My identity is in my relationship with him and as a redeemed child of God.  I think I’ll need to hear that over and over for the rest of my life.  Second, I don’t have to live life today worried and preoccupied with what might happen (or what God might do) tomorrow.  The kingdom is happening today.  The Father is speaking and providing today.  I have all that I need today.  Ministry is happening today.  I am loved by God today.  I can worship and eat and drink and play today.  I can soak in spiritual lessons and knowledge today without stressing about how I’m going to teach this or apply this someday down the line.  It has value today.  Today is worth a whole lot more than I ever thought.

So this may seem a bit abstract, even a little preachy.  But it has helped so much with perspective on my time at New Life.  I’m hoping that the gift of these next months will be that I see God moving in my life everyday.  Even in times of anxiety and loneliness, I don’t want to brush off the worries of today for the “greater” worries of tomorrow.  I want to learn to sit in them and bring those to God as well.

The question I get often is an obvious one, “What are you going to do after the internship?”  If I don’t have an answer for you, I hope you’ll be patient with me.  I’ll let you know when I get there.  It’s so hard for me to say that, but I’m still trying to figure out the place that I’m at right now.  I just got here.

- The Advent service last night at New Life was amazing.  Candles, prayer centers, incredible music, communion table, written prayers, silence – and it was all completely genuine and filled with grace.  The service was called contemplative and some in the know might see this and call it emerging.  But what I love is that the servants who planned and prepared this service probably have very little knowledge about what’s hot or cool on the church scene and even what the emerging church is.  And there was something very assuring about that – it was a genuine desire to pray and experience God together as we prepare for Advent and focus our attention on Christ.  This is not at all a knock on the emerging church (more thoughts on it to come later); it just showed me that we in the church can be so quick to try and be something innovative or do something new that we lose out on the heart of what God is speaking to us.  And yes, I would put myself in the category of those who value seminary classes and journal articles and discussions on the ecclesiology and Christology of the current emerging movement.  But it’s good to be in places where people just want to live in communion with Jesus and love and serve him.

- My first Thanksgiving on the east coast was spent in Boston with Jae and Veronica and James and Stephanie.  We all chipped in to prepare a great meal.  The boys were in charge of the turkey and never has a turkey preparation been so researched, discussed, and filibustered as this one.  And with all our research and years of higher education under our belts, we still went around and tasted the brine water to see exactly how salty it is.  You would think that when you see someone react violently to something nasty that it would make you not want to taste it.  Strangely, for guys it makes you want to taste it more.  The meal, on the other hand, came out fantastic, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time there with my friends.  Also, Boston is such a fun city to visit and is an amazing place to walk around on a crisp autumn day.

- Being in New York and especially at New Life has introduced me to so many creative and artistic people, and I am appreciating more and more how God shapes creativity in all of us.  I hung out with a friend recently who is in culinary school and hearing her talk about textures and flavors and timing was to see an artist at work.  I went to the Urban Sun show and had so much fun there.  My favorite parts of that night (besides Abbey’s incredible singing) were the girl playing trumpet in the brass section (how cool is that) and this dude who was dancing his heart out and said “I can’t help it, I just have to dance.”  The Open Mic Night was ridiculously filled with talent of all kinds.  I especially enjoyed the poetry because I’m a fan of great writing.

- Turkey Bowl was this past weekend back in LA, and even though I know my competitive football days are past their prime, I miss the smell of wet grass, lacing and taping up cleats, and putting in the mouthpiece right before the first play.  And since I’ve played DB most of my life, I love making a break on a ball and the feeling in your heart when the interception hits your hands and you make that run for glory.

- I’ve been pondering what it means to wait on God, especially since I have been so bad at it and find myself in the midst of it right now.  While I do not want to be passive in my pursuit of where God is leading me, I do not want to be grasping at things in haste either.  Pastor Pete preached a message on how we can birth an Ishmael in our lives (here) and I see how easily that temptation can be before me.  So I’m looking forward to this Advent season and hoping that my focus will not be on what’s next but on what God is teaching me right now.

The second is a conversation that happened before the movie about what makes a person “cool.”  It is obviously subjective, so we were talking about the different definitions we had of cool and people that fit that definition. You usually think of someone who is intelligent or a skilled athlete or musician or has that ineffable quality of “fun to be around.”  I’ve also heard that you’re cool if you can just be comfortable being yourself.  However you define it, it’s a great compliment or affirmation to anyone or anything that you tag as being cool.  So how do you figure out or measure coolness?  (I was trying to be cool by titling this “quantum of cool.”)  Does it change all the time?  Is it usually superficial or can it be deeper and more meaningful?  I have no answers to this, but let’s face it, cool is an important word in our society.  The search to be it or be around it definitely pervades most of culture, for both the young and old.  And there’s this love-hate thing with being cool.  You can be cool, but not too cool for school.  So I’d like to hear what people think, unless of course, you’re too cool to comment on blogs.  Don’t take this all too seriously…I’m not.  At this point, I’ve written the word so many times it’s starting to look weird…

On another note, we did a PATH session this weekend at New Life that was amazing.  It was about being a good listener and how important that is to being a good leader.  I have always thought of a leader as someone who can speak well, but if you want to value and empower the people around you, listening well is a necessity.  Great lesson that I want to keep learning.